Machuca en Paraguay: A Peace Corps Blog: Machucando...nada ::: Crushing...nothing

Words fail to leave my fingertips. I'm in a rut, a funk, a period of lassitude. During a training session who knows how long ago, our Master Trainer showed us a line graph representing the satisfaction levels of trainees and volunteers. According to this document, trainees peak-and-valley between happiness and dissatisfaction frequently in the 10-week period. Although I wish I could say that I am exceptional and have managed to stay positive at this 7^th-week mark, I'm feeling quite low. Despite sharing this experience with my partner, I feel lonely. Despite having thus far lived a fulfilling and rich life, I feel envious of others. Lately, I've constantly felt sick, which I attribute to the constant effluvia from burning garbage and the incense that deter mosquitoes from further destroying my feet. Presently, I can't stop scratching the mosquito bites spread around my body and my bee sting is on fire. And for the record, there are too many damn big cockroaches in my room. While sitting in bed this Sunday morning, I anxiously await for my host mother to come wake me up and check-in on me – which reminds me that regardless of my age or life experience I currently have to answer to her; I do not have the pleasure of autonomy or solitude. This morning is rare in the fact that Jason has slept over at a friend's house at his training site. It is a unique moment to have this small space to myself, a concept I took for granted in the States. I don't have to talk to anyone this morning and I'm relishing every moment.

I can't say that I have a particularly good reason to feel this way. This week, especially the last few days, have been fruitful with new knowledge and experiences. Melanie, a third-year volunteer and our Peace Corps Volunteer Coordinator (PCVC), has been an invaluable asset during training and she imparted some of her most priceless knowledge with us this weekend. During one session she outlined the work she had done in her site. Organizing and empowering a women's group, and ultimately getting them recognized by the government is a daunting task. Melanie's belief that the work should come from the women is impressive, and more impressive still is her dedication to this belief, no matter how hard it may have been to allow/work through mistakes, to take no easy routes, or to sit in the shadows. I sat mesmerized while Melanie explained the tedious details of her project, which ultimately produced 11 modern bathrooms for the women of her community. Outright it may seem strange from the perspective of an American, but now these 11 families do not have to use the unprotected latrines that were placed close to their homes, which attracted flies and were nearly filled. It was both empowering and nerve wrecking to hear about the work of Melanie and her women's comite...I hope I'm just as guapa at my site. Later, Melanie led us in a charla on bees. After three attempts our time had finally come. We suited up and went to the bee boxes. How amazing. Even though four bees had found their way into my gear and I was stung once, I loved it. I can't wait to work with bees further, develop those skills, and ultimately lose my fear of getting stung.

Getting suited up!

Mike and Adam are ready!

Caddie and Zach are preparing the smokers.

Maria standing by ready to smoke some bees.

The group getting ready to open one of the bee boxes.

Zach and Melanie are explaining to the group what we are seeing in the comb.

A close-up. The cells that are "capped" hold baby worker bees.

Melanie showing a different style of bee box and how the laying pattern of this hive is not ideal. They later transferred new baby hive cells from another hive to this one.